Women: Woman!

What does being a woman (lady, girl, female… whichever you prefer) mean to you? How would you describe yourself as a woman? Will you use the words strong, independent, caring, loving, nurturing, etc.? Are you being a 100% honest when you’re using such words? The reason I ask is that the value of being a woman has changed, its meaning has changed and it no longer carries the respect it truly deserved.

Today I will be exploring the darker side of being a woman and try to understand why even after all this time we are still standing at the beginning and have not moved on? Why it is that after all these years it feels like nothing has changed? The simple answer to that is: woman misused the freedom that was given to them. We have forgotten how our ancestors struggled and died so we can live freely and independently today. All we care about is our needs and how to fulfill them, irrespective of the fact how they affect others.

I do not understand why women would do this to themselves and other people around them. To understand what I mean let us shed some light on things that are going on. Women have lost their sense of shame to honor their undying desire for sex. All I hear these days is how girls are too eager to have sex and that they are willing to sleep with any random guy to fulfill their desires. And it’s not just adult women, it starts from teenagers. The moment they get boobs they start misusing them to their advantage, seducing boys to get favors from them or just to be popular in school. But really, is this how you want to be remembered…. A slut? If you have to fall to a point where you are using your body to get noticed then I suppose it’s not even worth being a woman. What do you think is the difference between you and a common prostitute? Only one… they have no other choice and are helpless, but you do. You can choose to be a decent human being and stop treating your body as an object. It’s true that people perceive you the way you perceive yourself. If you decide to wear slutty clothes and sleep around with random guys then you cannot expect men to treat you with respect and dignity because you have neither. You cannot blame the man for his behavior towards you after you gave him the reason to treat you like shit.

First of all I want to be very clear, we are not animals, god bestowed us with a brain which works and helps us choose what to do, right or wrong, and it also lets us control our urges and not give in to every desire we have like animals. If you want sex so bad use a goddamn vibrator! Most women these days feel its ok to sleep around with any men you can find as if they are extinct and it’s a once in a life time opportunity. I am not saying that all of it is wrong, people have their own kinks I get that but it shouldn’t be on the cost of someone’s feelings or life. It might be ok for a single woman to do as she pleases with a single guy as long as they are happy with whatever they are doing. I have a problem with women sleeping or fooling around with married men. I mean….. What is wrong with you people?!!. There is no shortage of single men or single women as a matter of fact. Then why is it that people who are already with someone hold more appeal than those who are available? There is no such thing as sincerity left in marriages. Either the guy is cheating most of the times or the woman or both. Then why the hell stay married in the first place, get a fucking divorce!

I do not understand straight people; they have no idea how lucky they are, they have a birth right to get married have kids and live a full life but still for some sick reason that isn’t enough. These people say that it’s wrong for gay people to get married, that it’s an abomination etc. etc. I say FUCK YOU! You people have no right to stop us (The LGBT Community) from getting married and having a life that we deserve.  You (straight) people have no sense of responsibility or sincerity towards your marriages.  You lie and cheat while being married; it’s all just a joke to you. I have come across men who cheat on their wives with teenage girls who have no idea that these men are married! Are you fucking kidding me! I refuse to believe that women are that dumb! Firstly, if teenage girls feel that boys their age are not enough or are not mature enough, I strongly recommend that you look at yourself first. I have no issues what so ever with girls dating older men, it’s the naïve part that bothers me. Of course the man is going to lie about him being married, it’s up to you to find out the truth and not sleep with him unless you’re sure he’s not lying. And if you do find out that he was lying and is a married son of a bitch leave him instantly, have some goddamn self-respect! No matter what he says, it will not change the fact that he was ready to or already cheated on his wife, if he can do that to his wife, then you are no exception (don’t be mistaken, your only a piece of ass to him). It’s so common for men to use excuses like, I was very unhappy with my wife for a long time and we never really connected… then why the hell are you still married to her! Another good one…. I really do love you and I will divorce my wife to be with you… Dump his ass immediately coz there is no guarantee that he won’t be repeating the same line to some other teenager in a few years after being with you.

Men are animals, they are pigs or dogs, or whatever you think they are, but it’s very unfortunate to say women aren’t that different in today’s era. Women are not united; they think of other women as competition. How can we expect any respect from men when we ourselves do not treat each other with the respect we deserve? We cannot blame men for disrespecting and treating us like this when obviously we literally gave them the right to do so. Would it be too much to ask if a married woman wanted other women to keep distance from her husband? Or her boyfriend? Or her girl friend? Will it be too much to ask to control the animalistic urges to have sex with any random person without knowing if they are committed or not? All I’m saying is all women (or men) are judged by the actions of every single woman. If one woman decides to become a slut she is making that decision for all of us irrespective of her reasons. All I ask for is that women respect themselves enough to not make any rash decision (which means taking orders from their sex organs) and use their brains for a change. Do the right thing and save the lives of other women, do not think of them as your competitors but as friends who would do anything for you like you would for them, treat other women with respect and stand up for them when they can’t.

I truly believe that if women treat each other properly the world could be a lot better place to live. In every relationship between women there is friction and it’s not just because of men it’s our fault too. Mother in laws want their daughter in laws to have sons…Why? Are they ashamed of being a woman? Why is it so wrong for her daughter in law to have a baby girl? If the mother in law being a woman herself will not stand up for her daughter in law then there is no point in being a woman at all. This was just an example; there are many more relations who suffer because women do not support each other like mother and daughters, classmates (remember being bullied by a cheerleader or any other popular girl because you were different or not so good looking?). I plead to all women to stop and think just for a moment, all that they have done and will do wrong if they do not change their attitudes towards their fellow women, to respect their bodies and have patience for everything, think rationally and not make any hasty decisions, do not believe everything men say….. blindly (check the facts, do a little spying), help your fellow women if they are being teased or harassed for being different and above all respect womanhood. 

Women: Chronicles of being an adult

Being an adult comes with a lot of responsibilities and expectations from our parents our loved ones and society as a whole. But how often is it that we meet these expectations, are they reasonable enough? I believe that the chain of events in a child’s life leads to his/her idea of life and how it should be. It is not clear what they have perceived from their surroundings about life until they are adults.  This perception decides the fate of society as these individuals together define the way things are perceived for future generations. It’s an infinite loop which affects our future in ways we can’t imagine.

There are many things that leave a child’s mind in chaos that makes him/her irrational and forces them to do things they are not supposed to under normal circumstances. A major part of the mind is influenced by the parents and their behavior. An abusive father or an aggressive or dominating mother can cause issues that will not be resolved unless the child undergoes years of therapy that too after they realize that there is something wrong with them. These are just at the top of the heap of reasons that destroys the life of an adult. These affected children become corrupt adults and there is no way to change it, in most cases they don’t even want to change it as they feel their way of living is alright as their parents did the same way.

I personally feel that if a person is old enough to have sex, they are old enough to understand their responsibilities towards the society and their families. Surprisingly this age; in which people are having sex, is 13. I am surprised and shocked to learn this and started thinking as to why a teenager at a tender age of 13 would want to have sex. What role is played by the female in making this decision to have sex at such an age? There are many factors that can influence this decision (from the female perspective) starting from their families. In poor families where the parents cannot afford to have more than one room and the whole family sleeps in the same room it is very difficult to hide certain things. For instance parents have sex in the same room while their kids are sleeping nearby which according to them are sleeping but we can’t be sure, can we? These activities around the children makes their little brains work in the wrong direction and their curious minds lead them to sex at an early age or in wrong circumstances. Girls with daddy issues go to any extent to punish their fathers without realizing how it may affect them personally.  They have sex with guys they think their parents may not approve, which are mostly guys who have no interest in education what so ever, no proper jobs or source of income and are aggressive (Future wife beaters to be more precise).

Adult women are more unreasonable and careless than what I had expected. They want to start having sex so early without realizing the consequences or even the fact that our ancestors fought hard to stop child marriages which are discriminating towards women and have life threatening concerns.  I cannot accept such behavior even when the event of sex was with a person they loved and really wanted it. This act still is dishonorable to all women and degrades us to mere sex freaks, no matter how in love you are. Men will do whatever they want, at this point it doesn’t matter what they do, and it is so unfortunate that I can’t even blame them for this insensitive crime committed by women.  Their lack of control and sense of shame is very disappointing. I personally believe that young women have the power to change how all women are perceived in the society, our elders worked hard to recognize women as equal partners to men and for them to treat us with respect and dignity that we truly deserved, but young women of this generation are determined to throw all that away in a decade which took centuries to build. How do I blame someone else when we ourselves have ruined our reputation and become what we despised the most, a sex object, a slave to our desires and animals?   

I know and understand that what happened in their childhood cannot be undone and those memories cannot be erased but a part of being a woman is strength, to fight the urges, to forget the past and look forward to the future, to be determined to achieve something in life and be someone you can respect yourself before others. That is what differentiates us from men, not the fact that our bodies are built differently. I used to pride on the fact that women are more evolved than men and these primitive urges and feelings cannot hold her back but I stand corrected. What we have all done as a group has changed how women are perceived again and God only knows how much time it will take to undo this.  

Like I said before, being an adult comes with responsibilities not just towards your families but towards society too. They way women think and behave has changed in negative ways and is destroying our image which took years to build. It’s not just sex that affects this image it also involves our decision making abilities and our attitudes towards one another. One thing I simply do not understand, why do women treat each other as enemies, fight over boys/men or silly things that don’t even matter. I strongly feel that our unity can change this world and can have an immediate positive effect. But unlike men we are unable to resolve issues and be humans about things. We have to fight, plot revenge, be jealous and all the stupid things which demolishes our hopes of achievement of any kind. There is a saying (I think it’s a saying but I am not quite sure) when 2 dogs fight the monkey will take advantage, women being the dog in this scenario and men being the monkey (Literally!!). We have fought within ourselves and basically gifted control to men who never fail to take advantage of it.  Maybe we do not have to agree on everything but fighting is no way to handle the situation. Come to think of it, even if you do wanna fight like to cats (not very pleasant I might add) it’s your choice, but for the love of God do not let men around you realize this so they can take advantage of you and the situation.  

I do not want to point out only the negative things because I know there are still many good things that women do that make them respectable and honorable. But the matter of the fact is that I am disappointed and do not wish to be disappointed more, it is easier for me to concentrate on a negative factor and work on it rather than expecting good things and being disappointed by getting the exact opposite. I truly believe that women are capable of so much more than just being normal; nothing about being a woman is ordinary, its special and a privilege. And the sooner all women realize this sooner we get recognized for the true potential that we have and the power that we hold.

Women: Adolescence

This is the second part of the series Women. In this section I would like to discuss the early years of a girl’s life. Everyone has different experiences in their lives, some good, some ok and some… well let’s just say they mess you up. There are very few lucky girls who are gifted with parents who love and adore her, educate her and ultimately make all her dreams come true. That’s not the case for everyone though. There are some things which we might not remember or don’t want to remember because it hurts to do so. What I don’t understand is that even though everyone’s life is different some factors or incidents remain the same (which I am sure you will agree) but our parents or we as parents fail to protect the innocence of the child from these tragedies. Let’s see what these factors are and how they might affect us (again it’s my perspective; I am open to other opinions):

• Molestation: it is very common that children these days are molested irrespective of their gender. In every family there is going to be a perv uncle or aunt who thinks its ok to touch children inappropriately. Often these people can also be your friends or neighbors or just about anyone. In today’s era (very pathetic I might add) even parents can be the one playing the role of a molester. Parents are so busy trying to make ends meet these days that they forget the one person for whom they began to do it. In all this mess the child ends up lonely and lost and being inappropriately touched by random strangers or people they know. What parents fail to realize is that this is an event which cannot be undone. It’s impossible for the child to forget it or let go of it and these painful memories hurt them for however long they live (Not to mention the messed up life part). I know parents can’t protect their child all the time or look after them every second of the day but there are ways to make sure this tragedy doesn't happen by simple things like, not trusting every other person, educate your child and let them know what kind of touching is inappropriate so they can protest and inform you if any tried any such thing, if you child is too young make sure either parent is always with the child (if not possible leave them with a recognized play group where they monitor all activities with a camera), talk to your children and let them know they are safe with you and that they can talk about their feelings without being judged, and most importantly never blame the child for the things that might happen to them (very common in dumb people who think everything is their child’s fault). They are your responsibility and if you can’t handle that responsibility for fuck sake use protection and don’t make the mistake of having kids. It is very important that you educate you child regarding all these things and giving them a chance to protect themselves when you can’t. If the child is not even aware that they are being molested then how can you protect them? At times these freaks of nature get bold and can even attempt rape which is why it’s very important that you know what is going on in your child’s life and that your child knows what is right and what is wrong. 





• Addictions: it has become very common everywhere for young kids / teenagers to have various addictions. You name it… they are doing it all, irrespective or unaware of the consequences and not even realizing that a small mistake can cause them a life time of misery. Let’s see a few of these addictions:

1. Drugs: very common and very deadly. I do not understand the need to be high… I mean … what the hell.. Why would u want to be high (you’re not a fucking bird). What is the output, I simply cannot understand. Being a teenager what trouble are you going through that you don’t want to be in your senses, can someone please explain this to me???? What problem could a teenager possibly have, you like someone who doesn't like you/or someone you can’t have? (Find someone else, there are lots of fishes in the sea) your failing? (It wouldn't have happened if you fucking studied in the first place now would it?) You don’t have friends? ( sometimes it’s just better not to have them because these days all they do is stab you in the back, get you drugged like you already are getting and leave you at the mercy of strangers or simply use you). Everyone has problems but it doesn't mean that its ok for you to take drugs and assume that everything is going to be ok and trust me it’s not going to be ok unless you do something about it yourself. Drugs won’t take your pain away; it will just numb you so you won’t feel anything which isn't worth it.
2. Drinking and smoking: again I do not understand the need to drink or smoke. (Wake up people; it’s not going to fix anything). Have you ever heard anyone saying “I had a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of vodka and all my problems were literally gone”? Drinking and smoking only create more problems. It’s easier for people to drug you at a bar and take advantage of the situation while you are drunk (obviously because you are not in your senses and unable to protect yourself). I personally feel the need to be aware of my surroundings at all times. At times you might have to deal with ugly situations but there are good things that happen too so why won’t you want to be awake and aware of that situation and feel it, enjoy it and remember it. Most of the time people do shitty things when they are drunk and the worst part is they either don’t remember or just pretend not to as it was too bad in the first place. Then why drink, why put yourself in that position, why the need to hurt yourself and the people who love you and why give strangers or otherwise a chance to take advantage of your drunken state. I cannot pressurize on this point enough that people will take advantage of your drunken state and your will regret it. So isn’t it better not to drink?
3. Sex: it’s not just teenagers who are addicted to sex, it’s everyone. And it’s not a bad thing if you both are in love and truly care for each other. Then why did I count it as a problem …. It’s because people have started taking it for granted. Having sex when they are bored and have nothing else to do or just doing it for the sake of doing it. It has become meaningless and vulgar instead of being something beautiful. All I ask is that you wait till the right person comes along, it might be that everything is not perfect but at the very least you will not regret it and hate yourself for the rest of your life for doing it (personal experience… so trust me on this). It’s a famous saying here in India “the fruit of patience is the sweetest” ( not sure if I’m saying it right but it basically means that if you wait and are patient to eat the fruit it will taste sweeter) it can be hard but you need to try, that is the least you can do, right? I think I speak for all women when I say that sex for us is not just something we do and get over with, it’s an experience a feeling that we feel in our whole body and it’s magical. Then why waste it on any random person. Think of it as money, would you just give money to a random stranger and that too for their enjoyment while your left high and dry? Think about it, save it and spend wisely ;).

• Daddy issues or Mommy issues: in most female teens it’s very common to have daddy issues (it’s an issue to have a dad and also not to, men are such an issue) but very rarely there are teens with mommy issues too. This can majorly be understood from my first section of the series: Birth. In brief most fathers want sons, there are many reasons behind this want; leaving a legacy, family name, and less worry as compared to having a daughter. So they start harassing the female child by making them feel insufficient or less important in some cases by having to high expectations and putting too much pressure on them also by not caring enough or caring too much i.e. being over possessive (why do men always have to do that!). These issues affect the child’s life in many ways and at times require help from a therapist. If only parents would realize this before having kids life would be so much easier. Coming back to reality we can see that this is a huge problem and we can take care of it by have proper communication with children and not pressurizing or forcing them to do things. Parents need to realize that in today’s world it really doesn't matter if you have a boy or a girl, both are a handful! (Say no to having Kids :P). In a very similar way some moms can be particularly strict or insensitive to the needs of a female child irrespective of being a woman herself. At times like this always empathize with your child and think how you would have felt if your parents treated you that way. 

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