Women: Adolescence

This is the second part of the series Women. In this section I would like to discuss the early years of a girl’s life. Everyone has different experiences in their lives, some good, some ok and some… well let’s just say they mess you up. There are very few lucky girls who are gifted with parents who love and adore her, educate her and ultimately make all her dreams come true. That’s not the case for everyone though. There are some things which we might not remember or don’t want to remember because it hurts to do so. What I don’t understand is that even though everyone’s life is different some factors or incidents remain the same (which I am sure you will agree) but our parents or we as parents fail to protect the innocence of the child from these tragedies. Let’s see what these factors are and how they might affect us (again it’s my perspective; I am open to other opinions):

• Molestation: it is very common that children these days are molested irrespective of their gender. In every family there is going to be a perv uncle or aunt who thinks its ok to touch children inappropriately. Often these people can also be your friends or neighbors or just about anyone. In today’s era (very pathetic I might add) even parents can be the one playing the role of a molester. Parents are so busy trying to make ends meet these days that they forget the one person for whom they began to do it. In all this mess the child ends up lonely and lost and being inappropriately touched by random strangers or people they know. What parents fail to realize is that this is an event which cannot be undone. It’s impossible for the child to forget it or let go of it and these painful memories hurt them for however long they live (Not to mention the messed up life part). I know parents can’t protect their child all the time or look after them every second of the day but there are ways to make sure this tragedy doesn't happen by simple things like, not trusting every other person, educate your child and let them know what kind of touching is inappropriate so they can protest and inform you if any tried any such thing, if you child is too young make sure either parent is always with the child (if not possible leave them with a recognized play group where they monitor all activities with a camera), talk to your children and let them know they are safe with you and that they can talk about their feelings without being judged, and most importantly never blame the child for the things that might happen to them (very common in dumb people who think everything is their child’s fault). They are your responsibility and if you can’t handle that responsibility for fuck sake use protection and don’t make the mistake of having kids. It is very important that you educate you child regarding all these things and giving them a chance to protect themselves when you can’t. If the child is not even aware that they are being molested then how can you protect them? At times these freaks of nature get bold and can even attempt rape which is why it’s very important that you know what is going on in your child’s life and that your child knows what is right and what is wrong. 





• Addictions: it has become very common everywhere for young kids / teenagers to have various addictions. You name it… they are doing it all, irrespective or unaware of the consequences and not even realizing that a small mistake can cause them a life time of misery. Let’s see a few of these addictions:

1. Drugs: very common and very deadly. I do not understand the need to be high… I mean … what the hell.. Why would u want to be high (you’re not a fucking bird). What is the output, I simply cannot understand. Being a teenager what trouble are you going through that you don’t want to be in your senses, can someone please explain this to me???? What problem could a teenager possibly have, you like someone who doesn't like you/or someone you can’t have? (Find someone else, there are lots of fishes in the sea) your failing? (It wouldn't have happened if you fucking studied in the first place now would it?) You don’t have friends? ( sometimes it’s just better not to have them because these days all they do is stab you in the back, get you drugged like you already are getting and leave you at the mercy of strangers or simply use you). Everyone has problems but it doesn't mean that its ok for you to take drugs and assume that everything is going to be ok and trust me it’s not going to be ok unless you do something about it yourself. Drugs won’t take your pain away; it will just numb you so you won’t feel anything which isn't worth it.
2. Drinking and smoking: again I do not understand the need to drink or smoke. (Wake up people; it’s not going to fix anything). Have you ever heard anyone saying “I had a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of vodka and all my problems were literally gone”? Drinking and smoking only create more problems. It’s easier for people to drug you at a bar and take advantage of the situation while you are drunk (obviously because you are not in your senses and unable to protect yourself). I personally feel the need to be aware of my surroundings at all times. At times you might have to deal with ugly situations but there are good things that happen too so why won’t you want to be awake and aware of that situation and feel it, enjoy it and remember it. Most of the time people do shitty things when they are drunk and the worst part is they either don’t remember or just pretend not to as it was too bad in the first place. Then why drink, why put yourself in that position, why the need to hurt yourself and the people who love you and why give strangers or otherwise a chance to take advantage of your drunken state. I cannot pressurize on this point enough that people will take advantage of your drunken state and your will regret it. So isn’t it better not to drink?
3. Sex: it’s not just teenagers who are addicted to sex, it’s everyone. And it’s not a bad thing if you both are in love and truly care for each other. Then why did I count it as a problem …. It’s because people have started taking it for granted. Having sex when they are bored and have nothing else to do or just doing it for the sake of doing it. It has become meaningless and vulgar instead of being something beautiful. All I ask is that you wait till the right person comes along, it might be that everything is not perfect but at the very least you will not regret it and hate yourself for the rest of your life for doing it (personal experience… so trust me on this). It’s a famous saying here in India “the fruit of patience is the sweetest” ( not sure if I’m saying it right but it basically means that if you wait and are patient to eat the fruit it will taste sweeter) it can be hard but you need to try, that is the least you can do, right? I think I speak for all women when I say that sex for us is not just something we do and get over with, it’s an experience a feeling that we feel in our whole body and it’s magical. Then why waste it on any random person. Think of it as money, would you just give money to a random stranger and that too for their enjoyment while your left high and dry? Think about it, save it and spend wisely ;).

• Daddy issues or Mommy issues: in most female teens it’s very common to have daddy issues (it’s an issue to have a dad and also not to, men are such an issue) but very rarely there are teens with mommy issues too. This can majorly be understood from my first section of the series: Birth. In brief most fathers want sons, there are many reasons behind this want; leaving a legacy, family name, and less worry as compared to having a daughter. So they start harassing the female child by making them feel insufficient or less important in some cases by having to high expectations and putting too much pressure on them also by not caring enough or caring too much i.e. being over possessive (why do men always have to do that!). These issues affect the child’s life in many ways and at times require help from a therapist. If only parents would realize this before having kids life would be so much easier. Coming back to reality we can see that this is a huge problem and we can take care of it by have proper communication with children and not pressurizing or forcing them to do things. Parents need to realize that in today’s world it really doesn't matter if you have a boy or a girl, both are a handful! (Say no to having Kids :P). In a very similar way some moms can be particularly strict or insensitive to the needs of a female child irrespective of being a woman herself. At times like this always empathize with your child and think how you would have felt if your parents treated you that way. 

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